Ken Pruitt's funeral

Ken Pruitt's funeral was a good one. Ken loved classical music and had been given a tuba on his 60th birthday. (I was at that party, and it was among the inspirations for Marie giving me an accordion for Christmas a few years later.) I didn't know it, but Ken gave Angela a French Horn for her next birthday; I knew he played in a brass group, but I didn't know that they played together in a large amateur orchestra for several years.

Honoring these loves, we were welcomed into the beautiful polygonal Unitarian church by a brass quartet playing Beethoven, and the service included two Handel pieces (adagio and allegro) for tuba and piano, plus "Sing Me to Heaven" sung a capella by the University of Montevallo Chamber Singers. There were a couple of hymns droned out by all of us, though I'm not sure why.

Joyce Benington, a life-long friend gave a long set of "Remarks". (Do Unitarians have trouble with "Eulogy"?) Ken introduced her to her husband Fred, and he was at their side during Fred's final illness in the 90s, and Joyce talked about family. I never knew Ken's first wife (and the mother of their four kids), and we later learned from their son Keith that she was the most beautiful co-ed at UNC when Ken won her heart, in spite of his big ears and geeky ways. (I learned later from Betty Lou Lacey that she killed herself...) I'd not known that Ken was a novelist, publishing under the nom-de-plume Wilson Abut. I've just ordered one of his four novels from Amazon.

Ken also loved poetry, and Joyce read AE Housman's poem:

   With rue my heart is laden, for golden friends I had,

   For many a rose-lipped maiden and many a light-foot lad.

   By brooks too broad for leaping, the light-foot lads are laid.

   The rose-lipped maids are sleeping, in fields where roses fade.

Virginia Volker commemorated Ken's long service at UAB, beginning when her father-in-law had just become the first president of the newly separate university. Hers was the driest presentation, but the one that connected with the things I knew about Ken.

The most interesting eulogy was from Ken's son Keith. He talked about the gifts of "sweetness and honey" his father had gotten all his life, some in spite of bad choices he made. He drew on one of the Psalms, which talks about honey oozing out of a crevice in the rocks in the desert, where apparently bees make their nests. The gifts of water and honey to a traveler in that hostile land are gifts from God. Keith didn't explain what bad choices his dad had made, but their was the implication of distance from the kids and their mother. It reminded me of Jim Campbell's funeral ... about which more anon.

At the open mike session, Jim Lacey told about Ken as a mentor, Jack Lemmons talked about not knowing him as well as he should, and Judy Vines and one other administrative assistant to Ken talked about what a wonderful boss and friend he was. I wished I'd asked Betty Campbell if there was something she would have liked to have said, and maybe I could have spoken briefly for her.

Ken was a generous man, although I knew only about what he did for me. At least I got to tell Angela and Elise about that in person yesterday.

But it made me wonder -- I know people who would say lots of nice things about me at my funeral, but I can't think of very many acts of generosity on my part...